June 21st, 2022
Woww... she's 25, and she's so happy that she's still having him by her side. Not knowing for how long but she appreciates it so much.
However, every part of her is breaking bit by bit which there will be no one notices. She has no capacity or energy to deal with things anymore.
From not wanting to utter a single word to anyone, she can say this is how she feels, and she's writing them here. It can be counted as a suicide note. Just in case people are curious and wondering why she did what she did.
Little do they know how much she has been putting up with her life every single day just to survive along with her suffering.
Little do they know how much she's faking herself just to make her surroundings acknowledge her.
Little do they know how much she has been crying herself to bed at night just because it's so heavy in a daytime.
Little do they know how much their appreciation could save a lot of lives, not to mention, her life.
Little do they know how much she loves her life with her beloved, yet they decide to destroy her without caring about how much pain she's going to deal with in the next.
Little do they know how much she cherishes every little thing in her life so she doesn't regret it a single moment later.
There is a lot more that she wants to speak, to tell about her. She wishes that there was a single soul who would understand her, who would never label her a drama queen, who could see through the pain and the sufferings that she's endured.
However, she doesn't blame them because people suffer differently, that's why she's always there for them even though she already knows that they will never do the same things to her.
Words after it's said, moments after it's missed, actions after it's done, time after it's gone, none of that can be recovered in life.
Do not wait for the right timing to cherish her because once she's gone, there's no coming back. Do not keep her waiting until she can't anymore. Do not bully her with her dropped tears because this is the only way for her to express herself. Do not make a joke about her scars because the physical pain can help her wake up from the mind that is drowning her.
Love her a little bit more when she's down. Be patient with her when she's overwhelmed. Believe her when she tells that right now she's suffering from something even though it sounds very unreasonable because people have the capacity to deal with all of those differences. Sometimes those don't hurt you, but it hurts her.
Sorry if this looks stupid to others, but no one wishes to be dead when all they wanted just to live with love. Howbeit, people just love to murder others with their unrealistic mercy and love.
In the end, her epic story of the future cannot be written anymore because she decides to finish it early today.
-The End-
Note: it's intended to be written on December 24th, 2021 but with the very tight schedule, it just finished today. Apologize for the wait, and thank you for reading this. This is very much appreciated.